The Mother Wound
"What many people do not realize is that the core issue at the center of women’s empowerment is the Mother Wound."
- Bethany Webster
The journey of an Electric Woman is to own her feminine side - to feel empowered and led by it. By feminine I mean the wise, intuitive, receptive, nurturing and expansive side of ourselves, not the 'be nice, quiet, pretty, passive, needy' feminine we were taught...for the record, if this sounds familiar, it might be time to meet your Miss Guided.
Our first contact with the feminine is through our mothers. We must look closely at the relationship we have with our mother if we want to consciously develop our healthy feminine.
My relationship with my mother is complicated. On the one hand, she's my inspiration, my support. On the other, I subconsciously adopted her pain and continued it as a way to connect with her.
In the words of Mother Wound expert Bethany Webster, 'The Mother Wound is the pain of being a woman passed down through generations of women in patriarchal cultures. And it includes the dysfunctional coping mechanisms to process that pain." Webster talks about the tendency of women to think of themselves as "less-than - undeserving or not worthy - a perspective that is internalized and then passed down through countless generations of women." This is where the Mother Wound begins.
My internalized pain was around not feeling enough, always comparing and competing. When I was little, I wanted to please my mother; I felt it was my responsibility to make her happy. I desired to change my body and start dieting as she did. To look perfect as she did. To work hard and prove myself as she did.
Webster goes on to say, the other ways the Mother Wound manifests is through 'high tolerance for poor treatment, not being your full self as you may threaten others, emotional care taking, eating disorders and anxiety'.
We learn habits from our mothers that we need to get conscious of and break. We have a huge feminine wisdom within us, which has been sidelined and dismissed. As we make peace with our mothers, we make peace with our feminine.
HOW TO HEAL THE MOTHER WOUND
A remembrance and gratitude to your female lineage
At my hen do at Stonehenge, Priestess Annabel DuBoulay led us in ceremony to call in the wisdom of our mothers, grandmothers and great grandmothers. We sat there in awe of the energy in the circle, the strength of the women before us and with a deep gratitude for them. We were reminded in that moment that we are women growing together, learning from each other and our ancestors, and that the responsibility lies within us and our choices to do our own work and get free with the opportunities we are presented in this lifetime.
Inspire, don't push
As I started to become more conscious about the woman I want to be through my journey with Electric Woman, my mother felt inspired and decided to hire her own coach. After years of feeling she wasn't enough, I remember her saying to me that "I now see the real me in my reflection when I look in the mirror", now that the layers of false perfection had lifted from her. That moment will stay with me forever.
Address your Mother as the Electric Woman she is
Each woman has an Electric Woman within her, even if it's well hidden. I wrote a letter to my Mum's Electric Woman (the wise, strong, happy woman within) and I read it to her. It was vulnerable, open and full of gratitude and at the same time a letting go of old stories of blame that I'd made up about who she was. It healed something within us. I now choose to interact with her Electric Woman and have compassion for myself and for her when we fall down, which inevitably we do. Healing your relationship with your mother is an important step towards healing the Mother Would that is passed down from one generation to the next.
Stay strong on our journey to heal, grow and become the woman you were born to be. You can do this with:
And a special thank you to my incredible mother, Angela Armytage, aka Serenity (the name of her Electric Woman). My mother has been a big reason for me starting Electric Woman and I have so much to be thankful to her for.
If you would like to read more on the Mother Wound, do so here – it's an illuminating article.
And please reach out with your own experience of the Mother Wound at firstname.lastname@example.org. We always love to hear from you.