As ambitious, strong and educated women in today’s society, who have access to many opportunities, we want to enjoy what we do and make our mark. We hold high expectations for ourselves; and want to make a positive impact. What often comes with this high expectation and desire for bold living are specific ways we invite self-doubt and fear that stop us getting what we want. It is when this fear and doubt run us, that we start to self-sabotage ourselves and our plans.
Meet the Evil Misses of the modern day woman.
Which one are you?
“You must work harder and be better in your career and prove yourself to others. Work is status, your job defines you. You’re not good enough as you are now, so keep working hard until you get to the top – and once you’re there, don’t stop. There’s no time to waste, so you and your personal life will just have to wait.”
Her effect on you: all work and no play, loneliness. Career and success is the answer, hide behind work, and alienate friends and family, not letting others in or allow them to take care of you. You put up walls and can appear intimidating and obsessed with proving yourself.
“Be beautiful, slim, smart and perfect and then you will be a success. If you’re not perfect at whatever you do, you’re wasting your time. Don’t show anyone your vulnerability or allow them to see the real you, this isn’t good enough, as you can always be better. Set your standards high and don’t compromise.”
Her effect on you: self-doubt in who you are today, over-controlling, loneliness and frustration through lack of self-expression, you compare yourself to unrealistic expectations of how you’re meant to be and you doubt your dreams. You don’t take action as you’re waiting for that day when you are perfect.
“Don’t step out of your comfort zone – you’re not ready. You are sweet and you must be a good girl, you don’t want to get hurt. Get other people’s approval first as you’ll make the wrong decision if you do it alone, keep a low profile.”
Her effect on you: you play small and don’t go after what you want, you wait, looking externally for the answers and other people’s approval, you lack self-belief and conviction in your choices, you appear confused, with no clear direction.
“Don’t have bold aspirations or plans for a life that doesn’t fit with convention. If you do, you’ll intimidate people, which is off-putting as a woman. Get a good job, a man and family and show your parents and friends that you have a settled life so they have less ammunition to judge you.”
Her effect on you: panic in getting older and not having the ‘perfect life’ that your parents or friends who are more traditional in their outlook want for you, you doubt your dreams, reject your aspirations and make yourself wrong for wanting to do things differently.
“Why can’t you be like the others? You’re pathetic. You’re too fat/stupid/ugly/unfit. You’re not important in the grand scheme of things, and don’t bother trying to change. You’re not up to it and you won’t make it.”
Her effect on you: she punishes you into feeling so worthless that you lose focus on your ambition and goals and you turn to something else to numb out what you want through too much food/ alcohol/ shopping/ spending hours sitting in front of TV and Computer screens/ gossiping. You feel like there is no hope for you so you lose motivation and isolate yourself.
Unfortunately, most women are very familiar with one or more of these Evil Misses. They stop us dead in our tracks and when they are in the driving seat, they consume us with fear and anxiety.
However, it is Electric Women who know how to release the control of the Evil Misses and to give power and light to the electricity that runs through them.